Irrational Review: Ghost In the Shell (2017)

Full Disclosure: I have not seen the anime nor read the manga this is a live-action remake of.

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I have too much to say about this, I thought it might be easier to break it down in bullet-point fashion.

death7I did like Takeshi Kitano. I won’t put on hipster-cinephile airs and proclaim I have been a fan of his since Violent Cop, but what I have seen of his, he is always a pleasure to watch on-screen. He was great here.

Onto the rest:

  1. ScarJo was terrible. Her acting was almost unbearable to watch.
  2. The visuals were strong, but way too much. My belief is “can does not mean should,” and that applies here.
  3. Oh, the whitewashing. Bullshit on anyone who says it wasn’t whitewashed. In no way was this presented as a melting pot. Several characters were notably Caucasian and the rest were Asian. The hamfisted attempt to explain ScarJo not being Asian was awful.
  4. coverpicI want to see a Cyberpunk 2020 film adaptation.
  5. Why did Takeshi’s character speak and require subtitles yet another character just spoke English with a very strong accent?
  6. Assuming this adaptation skews close to the original, were people not upset that both Cyberpunk 2020 and Bladerunner were very liberally swiped from?
  7. ghostScarJo in her shell without clothing and with clothing made no sense, especially when she sleeps in clothing. Bad stylistic choice.
  8. Jon Peters must have been involved- look giant spider!
  9. The action was noticeably tame, lots of loud guns, very little damage.
  10. I have no desire to see the original.

Irrational Reviews are Rated, In Ascending Order: i, Greek Phi normal.svg, √2, e, π

Ghost in the Shell (2017) Review: i

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Irrational Movie Review-X-Men: Days of Future Past

X-Men_Days_of_Future_Past_posterIt didn’t suck.  It was actually enjoyable.  I have some hopes for the X-Franchise.  Will Kitty Pryde get time travel powers in the comics? We can only hope not.  There was a whole lot going on with this movie, but it was actually pretty coherent, and I was surprised that I liked it.  Welcome back to the franchise, Bryan Singer. Superman fans might never forgive you. I was reminded that you made Valkyrie, a movie based on real facts and stuff that had me actually asking myself as the climax built “wait, will they really kill Hitler?”

Rating: e

 

 

 

There are lots of reviews already out there, so instead of trying to replicate the cadence of a traditional movie reviews, we bring you Irrational Movie Reviews. Exactly 97 words, and rated on a scale from i (square root of -1), φ (approx. 1.61), e ( approx. 2.71) and π (approx. 3.14).

 

Irrational Movie Review-Godzilla

Godzilla-2014-Teaser-Trailer-PosterMike may want to write his own differing review on this film. Did I have some problems with it? Sure. But, I got to see Godzilla. I got to see him kick ass. I got to see the other kaiju. It felt like a Godzilla movie. It looked like a Godzilla movie.  I wasn’t expecting Citizen Kane 2. And, it was so much better than last year’s Pacific Rim, a movie with no joy, no life, where all the SFX were way too murky to make out what was going on.
Pacific Rim sucked.
Godzilla kicked ass.

Rating: e

 

 

There are lots of reviews already out there, so instead of trying to replicate the cadence of a traditional movie reviews, we bring you Irrational Movie Reviews. Exactly 97 words, and rated on a scale from i (square root of -1), φ (approx. 1.61), e ( approx. 2.71) and π (approx. 3.14).

Irrational Movie Review-Muppets Most Wanted

Muppets_Most_Wanted_posterWhy did they not back up the money truck to Jason Segel’s house? The story has it, The Muppets was his life’s ambition. Wait, the dude who has shown his dong on-screen and stars in a more than one comedy known for ribald and stoner humor wants to reboot the Muppets? And they let him. And it was good. The original Muppet Movie: it is on my all-time faves list. The Muppets recaptured that for me. This was just way too much of the same stuff I find unlikeable in Muppets Take Manhattan, Great Muppet Caper, etc.

Review: φ

 

 

There are lots of reviews already out there, so instead of trying to replicate the cadence of a traditional movie reviews, we bring you Irrational Movie Reviews. Exactly 97 words, and rated on a scale from i (square root of -1), φ (approx. 1.61), e ( approx. 2.71) and π (approx. 3.14).

 

Irrational Movie Review-Amazing Spider-Man 2

ASM2I blame all of us. Every single one of us. That’s right, you and me.  We heard it was bad, and we saw this anyway, and now it has done over $700 million worldwide, which means we will subject to more sequels and spinoffs. Why must we open Pandora’s Box? When will we ever learn? If we had all boycotted the movie, maybe the rights would have reverted back to Marvel, or Spidey wouldn’t be played by a 30 year old pretending to be an ADHD high school student. This is our fault. All of our fault.

Rating: i

 

 

There are lots of reviews already out there, so instead of trying to replicate the cadence of a traditional movie reviews, we bring you Irrational Movie Reviews. Exactly 97 words, and rated on a scale from i (square root of -1), φ (approx. 1.61), e ( approx. 2.71) and π (approx. 3.14).

 

 

Irrational Movie Review-Captain America: The Winter Soldier

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The Falcon was meh, I appreciate they used the Falcon, but would it kill somebody to have his costume at least pay some reference to the original. Felt Robert Redford was just there to cash his check.  Cap and Widow had great chemistry. And, way too much killing at the end.  My Captain America doesn’t let helicarriers with SHIELD agents on them plummet to the ground. I would have liked the action to be more Bourne-like, and it had moments. Really liked the last scene with Bucky. Still my favorite character/ franchise of the Marvel Cinematic U.

Rating: e

 

There are lots of reviews already out there, so instead of trying to replicate the cadence of a traditional movie reviews, we bring you Irrational Movie Reviews. Exactly 97 words, and rated on a scale from i (square root of -1), φ (approx. 1.61), e ( approx. 2.71) and π (approx. 3.14).